There's Nothing Like A Good Hatemail To Warm The Heart. But Once Again, I Have To Work With What I Can Get.

To the  hatemail bag we go.....

Yeah cry me a river about the results from shoving addictive chemicals down people throats. And pain killers require addictive chemicals right, what a load of crap. I asked a few doctors why the narcotics and everyone of them told me it's to deal with mental aspect of being in pain. Yeah because taking someone out of pain wouldn't do that right. Sanctioned drug dealers and crooked doctors. So yeah cry me a river about the results from your own actions. What a joke, have fun explaining your actions to Christ.

Dear Jesus,

Someone wrote me the other day and wanted me to explain crackheads and how we deal with them to you. I'm not sure why. Maybe they figure that as the biggest single preventable source of war, strife, suffering and misery in our society you should be brought up to date with the latest challenges in pain management. Maybe they wish they could have brought you some OxyContin™ as you were flailing up on that cross, even though it only would have helped you "deal with the mental aspect of being in pain." like all those cancer people on their deathbed who get absolutely no pain relief from the morphine. Or post-op patients who've just had their chest ripped open. Who knew there actually wasn't any way to help them. Learn something every day I guess.

Anyway Jesus, a lot of drug seekers aren't very smart. Some of them just gobble down their Norco without a thought as to what they're gonna do when they run out way sooner than they're supposed to. When you tell them they can't have any more they whine and demand you call their doctor, who usually will say to give it to them anyway. Some of them do manage to figure out how to get multiple prescriptions from different doctors, but still bring them all to the same pharmacy, thinking we don't have the power to say no. Here's the thing though Jesus, increasingly the drug seekers are right. You take your 30 day supply of Vicodin into your local chain "pharmacy" on the 15th day, and when they don't want to fill it, you just call up the consumer complaint line and raise some holy hell. More than likely you will soon have your pills, a gift card, and an official apology. More and more crackheads are figuring this out, and staying away from stores like mine, where just the other day I turned away an OxyContin seeker with literally a fistfull of cash.

Wait. I think I get it now. That money in the Oxy seeker's hand was actually "Miracle Money" of they type espoused by the Reverend Peter Popoff and so many more of your followers, and that letter writer was telling me I was destined for hell for not taking it. Well shoot. I guess when I get there I'll just go hang out with all the Third World children who starved to death before they got a chance to have a little water sprinked over their head, which for some reason a few million of your peeps think is a necessary part of getting into get into heaven. Might be a good idea to keep those children away from the Catholic priests anyway if they make it up there. Maybe you really do have some sort of divine plan.

Back to the point though Jesus, I didn't take the crackhead's money because I didn't think he had a medical need for all that OxyContin, and I as a rule don't go around filling narcotics early, even though it does make for a few nasty confrontations. At least now I know where you stand on the issue  though. And that the folks plugging away for the big three chains are your chosen people.

I'm betting they don't feel like it though. Maybe next month you could give them all a Christmas dinner out of two fish or something to show how much you care.



Share on :
There's Nothing Like A Good Hatemail To Warm The Heart. But Once Again, I Have To Work With What I Can Get.
There's Nothing Like A Good Hatemail To Warm The Heart. But Once Again, I Have To Work With What I Can Get.
Reviewed by malaria
Published :
Rating : 4.5