It Takes A Village Sometimes, To Run A Pharmacy

HUNTSVILLE, AL, SEPT 10,2012, - In a devastating blow to the nation's pharmacies, Qualitest Pharmaceuticals announced today an immediate recall of one lot of the popular painkiller hydrocodone with acetaminophen tablets. According to a press release, it is possible that some tablets in the affected lot could exceed weight specifications, making them super-potent for both acetaminophen, also sold alone under the brand name Tylenol, and hydrocodone, a narcotic painkiller.

While the recall affects only one lot of one of a relatively unpopular strength of the med, pharmacists across the country worried about the impact to their bottom line.

"We sell a lot of hydrocodone stuff, I think" said some guy we've never seen before behind the counter at the Rite Aid in Monterey, California. "I mean, most stores do. I'm just here filling in for the week. What if we order some and it doesn't come in? Oh dear. If only we had an experienced staff pharmacist here. They would know what to do about this and the other million things that have come up in the last few days."

Across the country at Charmar Pharmacy in Bronx, NY, a pharmacist whose head wasn't up his ass explained "A lot of times, even though the actual recall is only for one lot of one strength, something like this can affect the whole supply chain as doctors and patients adapt to a particular product not being immediately available. Depending on how this plays out, this could have a big impact on our business."

In the United States, sales of all hydrocodone products are conservatively estimated at 45 trillion dollars a day. Actually maybe more like an hour.

However, in a surprising and apparently spontaneous display of support for their community pharmacies, customers across the nation lined up outside drugstores, clinics, hospitals and ambulance services to offer assistance.

"I heard there might be some super strength hydros this place might have to get rid of" said customer Byran Billups while waiting outside a Medicine Shoppe pharmacy in Dallas, Texas before the start of business. "I'm here to help."

Pharmacist Michael Haynard soon told the assembled crowd that while the store's hydrocodone came from a different manufacturer, and therefore was not subject to the recall, he did need some help moving some merchandise away from a broken water pipe.

"Sheeeeeeeeeeeeiiit" said Billups as he turned to walk away. It was a scene repeated across the country as customers who rushed to the aid of their local drugstore learned there were already procedures in place to dispose of recalled product.

Others meanwhile, were determined to stand by until they were the situation was under control. "Maybe they'll be a UPS strike or sumpthin, so they won't be able to ship the stuff back" said a customer outside a CVS pharmacy in Sanford, Florida. "I used to be able to count on these guys to always come through for me. I don't understand what's going on."
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It Takes A Village Sometimes, To Run A Pharmacy
It Takes A Village Sometimes, To Run A Pharmacy
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