Blog Posts That Somehow Didn't Get Me Fired, Number 3.

Original air date, October 12th, 2008

The Discount Pricing Program From The Pharmacy That Makes It Personal.

CAMP HILL, Pa. - Rite Aid Corp., the nation's third largest drug store chain, today claimed success for its "making stock affordable for the people" program, which took the industry by surprise when it was launched 15 months ago.

"Rite Aid has always been known for low prices every day" said CEO Mary Sammons with a straight face. "But with the phenomenal success of our stock discount program, we've taken a big step towards making corporate ownership, not just shampoo and medicine, affordable for everyone."

In East Los Angeles, José Lopez is using the Rite Aid program to help him take his shot at the American Dream.

"When I first came to this country, I only hoped to find work so I could send some money home to my Mother and cousin" said Lopez, a day laborer and part time landscaper found most mornings outside the Home Depot on Wilshire Blvd. "Now, with what I earn at the end of most days I can buy part of this giant drugstore. I hope someday to own enough of it to be given a golden parachute like the businessmen I hear about on TV. "

As of Friday, Lopez held a 15% stake in the company.

Morgan Stanley analyst Barney Weismann said that unlike the products sold in its stores, shares of Rite Aid Stock really are cheap.

"They certainly were ahead of the curve in aggressively driving down the price of their stock" said Weismann. "The idea has really caught on of late, not only in the drugstore industry but across the entire business world. Rite Aid took the lead in discount stock pricing, and no one has really managed to catch up."

"Catch up and stay in business" he quickly added.

The program suffered a major setback last month when Rite Aid shares were pulled from the shelves of several major dollar store chains as being "too cheap for even us to sell," nevertheless, Ms. Sammons extolled the virtues of value stock pricing.

"I think it's an opportunity anyone who still has any money left should take advantage of" said Sammons, her voice slightly quivering. "Please....I'm begging you...take advantage.....before it's too late."

Sammons then started to weep softly.

Disclaimer- Everything in this post is made up, except for the incredibly low price of Rite Aid stock, which closed at 55 cents a share on Friday.


Well, four years later I certainly look foolish on this one, don't I? A new CEO, a new business strategy, and that stock price these days has more than doubled...

Yup. Closed today at $1.21 it did. While I wipe the egg off my face, let's review what we've learned so far. As we've just seen, Rite Aid was totally cool with a person mocking their business shortcomings.

They also didn't mind me openly lusting after their CEO.

Telling the world they tried to order a pharmacist to feed someone's controlled substance addiction? No problem!!

But, say scabs here. Standing up for working people who want some measure  of health security must be worse than all those things.

At least they are in some people's eyes, we now know.

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Blog Posts That Somehow Didn't Get Me Fired, Number 3.
Blog Posts That Somehow Didn't Get Me Fired, Number 3.
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