Jenny McCarthy Announces Wedding Plans.

ATLANTA, GA- In a joint appearance broadcast this afternoon on the E! network, former Playboy model and actress Jenny McCarthy announced her engagement to SMPX0001:CDCGA, one of two remaining smallpox viruses left on the planet, confirming what celebrity watchers, paparazzi, and almost every doctor and medical researcher on earth had long suspected, that Ms. McCarthy is wedded to the idea of deadly communicable diseases.

"I've been love with Jennifer ever since I first saw her rail against the medical-industrial complex responsible for the scourge that is vaccination" said the virus, believed to be responsible for as many as 300,000,000 deaths in the 20th century. "It's all true. For the love of God, please believe her and keep your children away from these shots of death"

Ms. McCarthy, famous for taking her clothes off and then posing for pictures as well as various parts on television shows, somehow became an expert on vaccine safety. No one's quite sure how. She is the mother of a son with autism that she asserts was caused by childhood immunizations, but an exhaustive search of scientific research papers and medical journals revealed not a single article written by her on the subject.

Not even in The Lancet. And The Lancet sucks.

Commenting on the upcoming exchange of vows, E! entertainment editor Elania Coswell speculated the move would be a boon to the career of the once madly ubiquitous virus. "Like a lot of once popular over the hill performers, SMPX0001:CDCGA is now desperate for any exposure he can get. Kind of like Chevy Chase. How fortunate for him that he found someone whose interests and life goals so closely match his own."

It is widely speculated that McCarthy's influence over vast numbers of people's parenting decisions has something to do with her appearance on WWF's WrestleMania XI and the size of the American education budget.

Looking on fawningly as the smallpox virus addressed the crowd of reporters, Ms. McCarthy later said the couple had plans for a new project.

"Every year since I first spoke up on this issue an average of 178 people have died from vaccine preventable illnesses in this country" she said. "I hope SMPX0001:CDCGA and I can spend some time addressing this problem."

"Oh yeah" Added the happy soon to be groom."Trust me, if I get my way, those numbers will change. Now how about seeing who you can blow to get me out of this lab baby?"

Ms. McCarthy then psychobabbled something about thimerosal, a preservative removed from almost all vaccines in 1999 with no resulting decrease in autism cases.

Most reporters wrote down every word she said.
Share on :
Jenny McCarthy Announces Wedding Plans.
Jenny McCarthy Announces Wedding Plans.
Reviewed by malaria
Published :
Rating : 4.5