Today's Flu Shot Follies

The conference call. I don't have to explain to a good chunk of you the futility of the pharmacy conference call. A unique opportunity to touch base with the corporate mothership and cover important business issues of the day. A chance to listen and share with colleagues. To communicate and learn.

While filling your normal amount of prescriptions of course.

And fielding customer questions.

And taking phone calls. On the other line. While the conference call is going on. You get the picture now if you didn't before. Under the best of circumstances, you'll get about half of what is said on a conference call.

Now is the point where I would play you a sample of my District Manager's voice if I could. She has a very strong and unique accent the like of which I have never heard before. I have wondered at times if it isn't actually a speech impediment, but it would probably be rude to ask your boss if she's had a stroke or something. Anyway, under ideal conditions, I can understand about 70% of what this woman says, put her on a conference call, and that'll easily go to under half.

Which means, at best, I'll get about 25% of the information that goes out on a conference call. I'm just very lucky to work for a company that never says anything important.

Today's conference call started with something to do about trash I think. Sorting the right trash into the right containers or something. We've had to make sure any trash with anyone's name on it is separated from the regular trash for over 5 years now, so I'm not sure what might have changed. Good thing I don't care very much or I probably would have been upset I missed out on the whole trash conversation while trying to explain to a moron how they were to take their prednisone. The moron's doctor was really asking a lot of the moron with the instructions he came up with, but I think I got the moron straightened out. When I got back to within speakerphone range the subject had changed to flu shots.

And the flu shot quota, which I've noticed has changed three times since originally imposed.

"So when you're asking your customers if they'd like a flu shot, what kind of reasons to they give when they say no?" Asked my district manager.

I decided that she kinda sounds like a pirate.

"Some people are saying they're worried it's too early in the season." Piped up a pharmacist somewhere who was taking this way too seriously.

"A lot of people are telling me they've already got it at their doctor's office." said another.

"OK then" said the pirate. "Pharmacist Nerd, you've given out the most shots in the district so far, so you must have a lot of experience dealing with people's concerns. What do you say to your customers that say it's too early in the season?"

"I just tell them that we've checked with corporate and they say it's fine" said Pharmacist Nerd, giving us all some goddamn valuable insight.

I noticed now that my Supertech was starting the paperwork so we could actually give a flu shot to a customer while these numbnuts sat around and talked about it.

"Very well" goes the pirate. "And Pharmacist Nerd, what do you say to your customers who tell you they already got it at their doctors?"

Which was the point where I hung up. Which I regret. Because I would have loved to have heard Pharmacist Nerd's answer as to how we can sell a flu shot to someone who's already had one.

Only seven months of flu season to go.......
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Today's Flu Shot Follies
Today's Flu Shot Follies
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Rating : 4.5