Highlights From Friday's Pill Counting Action.

Asking me where the reading glasses are at work is the stupidest goddamn thing you can do. I don't say that because I don't think you should read. After all, the more people who make a commitment to getting some of their entertainment through the written word, the more copies of my book I will possibly sell. And it's not that I don't applaud you for making a positive change in your life in order to improve your vision. It's just that.....when I'm at work, I'm about 5 feet away from a reading glass display that is taller than I am, and I'm a taller than average kinda guy, and since you're probably between me and the reading glasses while you're asking....well....you get my point here?

"WHERE ARE THE READING GLASSES?" Said the first customer of the day. This happens about three or four times a week.

I also noticed we were starting off the workday at a relatively toasty 73 degrees. I've written before about our store's air conditioning troubles. They've been going on for well over five years now, but things had seemed stable of late, and I was almost ready to declare the long running situation resolved. Half an hour later it was 73.5 and I realized five years of air conditioning repair has gotten my employer nothing. I also noticed that our wholesaler's order had not shown up yet. We're very lucky in that we are one of the first stops on our wholesaler's delivery route, which means when we tell people something will be in tomorrow, we'll usually have it taken care of by 10 AM. It was now 10:30. You know what came next.


It was gonna be a long hot day. 74 degrees and rising.

At lunchtime I walked by the soon to be vacant Border's Express and thought about my last purchase there. I had been horrified to see the latest book by Philip Roth on the 50% off rack, and bought it mostly to save the poor book the embarrassment of being featured next to the latest work by Marie Osmond. I wanted to say something to the clerk about how we are lucky that Philip Roth consents to allow us to read his words at any price, but as I watched her struggle to count back my correct change and pop her gum at the same time I knew what that would get me. I remembered lamenting the state of literature in our culture back then, and I realized soon even bookstores manned by bubble headed bleach blondes will be gone. I resolved to be kinder to people seeking reading glasses.

I came back from lunch and found a man who had been waiting for me the entire time I had been gone. He asked for an emergency filling of his Cialis. This was the second time this week. A request for an emergency filling of a med for erectile dysfunction. I thought back to my recent CPR training and tried to remember if there was a part where I was supposed to have a boner.

We were now past the 75 degree mark and I got a warning from the computer that a prescription for temazepam, a habit-forming sleep aid, was being filled 15 days late. Makes me happy to know that Drug Utilization Review software is in there keeping my license safe.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHERE MY SUGAR MED IS!!!!!! This was the third time the lady waiting for our wholesalers order had called. She would call twice more, and when I phoned her to tell her it was finally here she said "Oh I'll just get it tomorrow." The temperature went from 75 to 78 very quickly, and it was now evening. The only possible explanation was that the goddamn HEATER was now on. I saw the assistant manager walk by wearing a jacket and realized I was on my own on this one. I called the air conditioner contractor and explained the definition of "controlled room temperature" that is on each and every pill bottle on my shelf. I explained it to their voicemail. I hung up and felt all hope melting away. Just like the polar icecaps.

"Where are the reading.....oh, never mind, they're right behind me!"

"At the end of every hard earned day", Bruce Springsteen once sang, "people find some reason to believe." I closed the gate and retained some small spark of hope for humanity.
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Highlights From Friday's Pill Counting Action.
Highlights From Friday's Pill Counting Action.
Reviewed by malaria
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Rating : 4.5