An Exclusive, Imaginary, Interview With KV Pharmaceutical CEO Greg Divis.

Drugmonkey- Thanks for taking the time to talk with me Mr. Divis.

Divis- Thank you for the opportunity Drugmonkey, I'm really excited to share some wonderful news. We've cut the price of our blockbuster FDA approved product, Makena, by over 50%!! I know how passionately you believe in affordable, accessible health care for all Americans, so I'm sure we can both agree this is incredibly exciting!!

DM- Well, first let's back up a little bit for those people who may not be familiar with Makena and what it does. Maybe you could tell us a little bit about it.

Divis: Absolutely! Makena is our brand name for the drug 17-hydroxyprogesterone, and it's the only product approved by the FDA to reduce the risk of premature birth, a devastating event that happens to one in eight babies born in this country. Drugmonkey, that is one in eight babies too many. While we're proud that our FDA approved product will reduce the risk by around 20 percent, we will not rest until each and every child in the United States enters this world healthy and with all the advantages modern medicine has to offer.

DM- I see. And this price cut of yours is part of your effort to help you get some rest at night?

Divis- Well, I'm not sure I'd put it that way, but a 50 percent price cut will make a big difference for everyone involved!!

DM- A price cut to around $700 a week.

Divis- Yes.

DM- Meaning at one time you were charging over $1400.

Divis- A small price to pay for a healthy child I'm sure we can both agree.

DM- Do you think I'm stupid?

Divis- Excuse me?

DM- I said do you think I'm stupid? Do you think that I don't know that pharmacists have been compounding  17-hydroxyprogesterone themselves for years and selling it for around $20 a week? And let me tell you something about compounding pharmacies. They are not known as outposts for value. If they're charging $20, I can assure you the cost of this stuff is a tiny fraction of that. Where the fuck do you get off charging $700?

Divis- Ours is FDA approved!!

DM- Meaning?

Divis- Meaning Makena is manufactured in an FDA-regulated and FDA-compliant, sterile facility.

DM- You mean ones like a company such as Johnson and Johnson would use to make their medicines?

Divis- Yes.....wait... no!!

DM- Isn't it true you're just taking advantage of expectant mothers who aren't savvy enough to realize the only difference between your product and what a compounding pharmacy would dispense are the papers you pushed around to get some bureaucrat's seal of approval?

Divis- We feel that in the current political climate, people really want to depend on Big Government. That people are craving to be told exactly what to do by far away impersonal power.

DM- Good luck with that.

Divis- Say, are you writing this as a representative of the large corpro-pharmacy that employs you?

DM- I'm actually glad you asked that sir. You see, I've always operated under the assumption that you would have to be a fucking idiot not to realize that everything I write using my personal social media accounts represents only my own personal views. But evidently, my last, small shred of faith in the intelligence of the human race is not one that's shared by some large pharmacy corporations.

Divis- If it's one thing those of us in the business world know Drugmonkey, it's that there is no shortage of fucking idiots on this planet. They are a powerful force, and while that power most often leads to awesome destruction or at least incredible frustration, properly harnessed, it can bring you riches beyond your wildest dreams.

DM- And that, sir, is finally something we can both agree on.

Disclaimer- While the story of Makena is true, this interview took place only in my imagination.


Also, thank you to the alert reader who tipped me off to this story. A long time ago. If I had a paid staff i could get these things out quicker, and if you'd buy my book that would put me a step closer to having a paid staff. Just sayin' 
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An Exclusive, Imaginary, Interview With KV Pharmaceutical CEO Greg Divis.
An Exclusive, Imaginary, Interview With KV Pharmaceutical CEO Greg Divis.
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