As Much As I'm Sure You'd Love To Continue To Hear My Opinion About The Troops, I Think I'll Write About Last Week's Pill Counting Highlights Instead.

What is your name? Can you think of a simpler question? Seriously, I'm used to people who don't have any idea if they've ever set foot in one of the thousands of stores operated by my employer. I've also accepted the fact many people will come to the counter convinced they are at a CVS, which wouldn't be so bad save for the fact I don't and never have worked for CVS. But how the hell can you mess up the question "What is your name?"

The guy did. Took him a good couple of minutes to get the answer out. The education crisis in this country is real and will soon overwhelm us all my friends.

These types of problems are best left to the technicians though, as my massive brainpower is needed for the medical type questions. Like the lady at the blood pressure machine who asked me if a reading of 180 over 130 was too high.

I fired up my superbrain and told her yes, that reading was without a doubt too high. That she needed to see a doctor.

"Well my last reading was 150 over 112, so maybe my pressure isn't really that high."

I told the nice lady that even 150 over 112 was too high, and she really needed to see a doctor.

"But I don't want to see a doctor" was the reply. Unfortunately I was still expected to find a solution to this problem.

So I whipped out my counting spatula, which also doubles as a magic wand, lightly tapped her on the forehead, and sent her on her merry way, telling her she could be secure in the knowledge that her blood pressure would never be a problem again. My only regret was that she just didn't tell me she'd rather not see a doctor right off the bat. Could have saved us both a little time.

While this was going on I overheard a man talking to my trusty technician.

"We don't seem to have any prescriptions for you, was there anything you needed?"

"No."

Why a person comes to the prescription counter when they are not in need of a prescription is one of life's little mysteries. But it happens. More often than you would think. I suspect CVS  might be behind it.

There has been a bit of drama in the happy pill room of late amongst the staff. Nothing major. The type of petty politics that will happen when any group of people share a close space together for a few hours every workday. Long story short, there was a bit of a spat between the pharmacy manager and one of the technicians. The same technician who saves the used aluminum soda cans we use during the workday to cash in for the recycling deposit. After the spat, the manager reached into the recycle box, pulled out the two cans she had emptied that day, and put them into the regular garbage. I suspect my pharmacy manager will be promoted soon, and am confident she will fit into the corporate world quite well.

A deaf lady signed "Where's the bathroom?" and I understood her perfectly based only on the look upon her face.

The prescriptions were backed up like a 90 year old man on Oxycontin and I didn't have time for this shit. Have you ever called another store for a prescription transfer and wondered how the hell the person on the other end of the line could possibly have the same license as you? I know you have, and it seems to be happening with increasing regularity. Like the people who don't know what the words "NO REFILLS" on a prescription label could possibly mean though, I've come to accept it. Every once in awhile they still manage to surprise me though. Since this store was on the other side of the country, I was getting some basic information, the kind of thing that happens in every pharmacy, every day of the year.

"So what's your ZIP code?"

"My what?"

"Zip code. The last part of your address."

"Uhhhhhhh.........can you call back later?"

I gave up on the human with a college degree and professional license and  looked up the zip code of mystery on my smart phone.

And the machines took a step closer to the day when they will rule us all.
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As Much As I'm Sure You'd Love To Continue To Hear My Opinion About The Troops, I Think I'll Write About Last Week's Pill Counting Highlights Instead.
As Much As I'm Sure You'd Love To Continue To Hear My Opinion About The Troops, I Think I'll Write About Last Week's Pill Counting Highlights Instead.
Reviewed by malaria
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Rating : 4.5