If I Lived In Arizona, I Know Exactly What I Would Do The Day SB1070 Went Into Effect.

SB1070 is the totally non-racist immigration law so much of the country has been talking about of late. I'm sure you don't need me to fill you in on the details. Legal challenges to the new law have started to work their way through the court system, but the last I heard, SB 1070 is still scheduled to become the law of the land in The Grand Canyon State on July 29th. If I lived there, I know exactly how I would celebrate this dawn of a new era. One of rededication to the rule of law and public order.

I would get in my car and drive. Nowhere in particular, but I would drive at exactly the posted speed limit. Not one mile an hour over. I mean, the speed limit is the law. And Arizonans are all about enforcing the law now evidently.

I think I would get a few of my friends together as well. However many friends as there are lanes of traffic through downtown Phoenix. For this maneuver I would be driving a little less than the speed limit, as is my right under the law, and each friend would be going a little faster. Not a lot faster. Can't break the law mind you, but just fast enough that each lane would be sllllloooowwwwwlllllyyyyyy passing the other, and the far left would be going exactly as fast as the law allowed. Then when they finally passed me, I would start this celebration of legal obedience all over again.

Have you ever really noticed the Phoenix skyline? You would if I lived there. Because I'd make sure you had plenty of time to see it all. Same way with those vast stretches of interstate in the western part of the state where it feels  like you could fall asleep at the wheel and not hit anything for an hour or two. Just imagine how much more you'll enjoy the scenery at the nice leisurely driving pace that the law mandates.

And if you don't like it, too bad. I mean, what part of illegal don't you understand? This is all about enforcing the law, just like SB1070, which is so non-racist it actually prohibits law enforcement officers from using race as a criteria to demand that someone show their papers. No word in the law as to what actually constitutes a "reasonable suspicion" that someone is in the country illegally. Maybe if they have a bumper sticker on their car that shows support of some hockey team. I hear those goddamn Canadians are crazy about hockey.

Anyway, I'm sure no one in Arizona would mind anyway, because like I said. A new era of respect for the law is about to dawn in that state:

Arizona's controversial experiment with speed-enforcement cameras on state freeways will come to an end this summer, when the Department of Public Safety allows the program to expire.
Advocates of the cameras, including some DPS officials, have released studies indicating that the cameras save lives and reduce crashes.
Those studies have been vigorously disputed by camera opponents, who argue that the cameras increase collisions while infringing upon constitutional rights.

Your constitutional right to break the law? What? Something does not compute my Arizona friends. You're either for the law or you are not. Otherwise you're the very definition of hypocrisy, yes?


So it is settled. Arizonans are hypocrites. And what could possibly be the motivation for such blatant hypocrisy, stating that the law is of vital importance and must be upheld, except when it isn't and shouldn't? I'll let you decide that for yourselves, but a blind hatred of Mexicans would be at the top of my guess list Arizona.

Maybe someday soon I'll see you in my rear view mirror. Be sure and wave while you're back there.
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If I Lived In Arizona, I Know Exactly What I Would Do The Day SB1070 Went Into Effect.
If I Lived In Arizona, I Know Exactly What I Would Do The Day SB1070 Went Into Effect.
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