Highlights From Friday's Pill Counting Action.

If I had just hit that trash can. I couldn't help but to think as I pulled down the gate to end the day where I would have been if I had just hit that trash can 24 years ago.

Back then I was a smart kid. The great hope of the hillbilly county where I grew up you might say. Not long after I took the PSAT's I started getting mail from colleges and universities across the land trying to convince me to grace them with my presence. I remember the first one was from West Point. That would have worked out well. I soon ended up with grocery bags full of it, and sometimes I would look at the collection and think about how every piece of mail it contained represented a different direction my life could take.

I had decided not to bother with private schools though. I didn't want to do that to my parents, who were old-fashioned enough to believe they were responsible for educating their children. Private schools were too expensive, so their mail went straight into the trash. Mostly. The brochure from Ohio Northern University got hurled in the trash can's direction but landed right on the on the corner of the top, where it stayed for weeks, until I thought to myself  "What the hell" and sent in the card for more info. Ohio Northern subsequently gave me a scholarship, locking in the course my life was to take. The course where a person had just asked me what the difference was between the regular mixed nuts and the mixed nuts with "extra special" on the label.

If I had gone to West Point I'm sure that never would have happened.

When I arrived at the store the first thing I did was go to the storeroom. The phone system crashes every night now, and there is a procedure for getting it started again in the morning.  You can't just reboot the system, you have to flip the switches in a certain order, holding a certain button down for a certain number of seconds at exactly the right moment. It's all very McGuyverish, and we figured out the procedure all by ourselves, with no help from my employer's computer help desk. I found this morning that it seemed to speed things up if I hopped up and down on my right foot with my finger in the air. After the system came back to life I speculated about possible roles for tinfoil in this whole procedure as I walked to the pharmacy to start the day.

I opened the gate and called for the assistant manager to log in the cash drawer. My employer trusts me to be in a room full of drugs alone most evenings and all day Sunday but not to log in a drawer containing $75. Probably because I didn't go to Notre Dame like that one letter wanted me to. The manager arrived after 10 minutes elapsed and three people had formed a line. After my trusty tech rang up the first customer we found they had given us a drawer with two one dollar bills. We would spend the next half hour calling for change.

There has been a massive recall of liquid meds made by McNeil Consumer Healthcare. Tylenol, Motrin, Zyrtec, Benadryl. I've learned to love the irony of people who still don't want to lower themselves to buying the house brand even after they find out the name brand product has been pulled from the market due to quality control issues. I've spent a good chunk of my time of late explaining to numbnuts that the house brand is the same thing. Same ingredient, same strength...yadda yadda.....

"Well if I gave my son one teaspoon of the Tylenol, how much of this would I give him?" Something told me I wasn't communicating effectively. I wondered how else I could  phrase "the same"

A nurse attempted to phone in a prescription without ever mentioning the patient's name. When I asked her for it she said "I'LL JUST GIVE HER SAMPLES!!!!!!"  Another man waited a good two or three minutes to talk to the pharmacist so he could ask if there was a product that would help if his ball point pen broke during laundry and got ink all over his dryer. I recommended warfarin 2.5mg twice a day.

A customer walked by and asked if I was done for the day. It was 4:17 P.M.

When I really was almost done for the day an old man came to the counter with an old-school answering machine in a plastic bag. It used a cassette tape, which my love of all things retro thinks is awesome. I would have offered to buy it from him if he wouldn't have started screaming about how the machine broke while fielding a call from my employer's automated call system and that he was going to take us to court. Silly man. he should know that the cure to any phone related problems caused by our sickly phone system involves duct tape and the blood of a chicken slaughtered at sunset.

I spent that night dreaming of giant trash cans, and of being unable to get anything inside them.
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Highlights From Friday's Pill Counting Action.
Highlights From Friday's Pill Counting Action.
Reviewed by malaria
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Rating : 4.5