It Would Be Too Easy For Me To Write A Post About How Much I Want To Punch This Kid.

First off, there's just the way he looks. This kid looks like some sort of wayward child of that dude from Air Supply. And whether we like it or not, all of humanity has an obligation to stop the members of Air Supply from reproducing. By violence of necessary. Here's his picture:


I almost punched my computer monitor just now. There are so many reasons to want to punch this kid though. His name is McKay Hatch, and evidently he has a taste for politics:


SACRAMENTO, Calif. -- Californians had better start watching their mouths.
The state Assembly passed a resolution Thursday that would establish the first week of March as "Cuss Free Week" throughout the state. If approved by the Senate next week, the measure would take effect immediately.
The resolution was inspired by a South Pasadena teenager, McKay Hatch, who started a No Cussing Club at his junior high school in 2007. Similar clubs have since cropped up in every state and 20 countries.
Hatch, who traveled to the Capitol with his family to support the resolution, said he sees a link between foul-mouthed incivility and other forms of problem behavior, such as drug use and bullying.
Next up for the 16-year-old? Promoting no-cussing measures in other states and internationally.
"Next year I want to do a world tour," he said. "Cussing is a hard habit to break, but anyone can do it."
California lawmakers will now test Hatch's theory. Portantino and his staff have supplied each of them with a "cuss jar." Those who let a foul word slip are encouraged to deposit money into the jar as penance.

My first thought upon reading this, of course, was how much I wanted to punch this kid.  The more I thought about it though, the more I realized the cuss jar thing was a more constructive proposal to deal with California's budget crisis than anything I've heard come out of the mouths of Assembly Republicans. And cutting out the cussing to stop drug abuse can't be any less effective than anything our legislators have come up with to date. Perhaps The Little Pansy Boy wasn't wasting our lawmaker's time. Perhaps... he was on to something. I decided to take a trip to a meeting of his No Cuss Club in my imagination to see what I could learn.

As I entered the meeting room the no cuss crowd was in the midst of a heated debate.

"I love my mummy more!!"

"NO!! I LOVE MY MUMMY THE MOST!!!"

"Can't we all just agree to love our mummy's as much as we can?"

"Yes!! Everybody wins!! Yay!"

"McKay, I have a question"

"Yes Bartholomew"

"People keep calling me a puss. Is puss a bad word?"

"Well, according to the dictionary I keep in my pocket at all times, 'puss' is another word for 'cat.' They must be calling you a cat."

"Yay!! I like kitties!"

"Let's talk about our favorite book now" said McKay, to which everyone in the room responded in unison:

"LITTLE WOMEN!!!!! YAY!"

"All the sisters really loved each other" said Bartholomew "And my brother said Theodore was a big puss, which means he was a giant kitty!! Yay!!"

"YAY!!!!! Shouted the entire room.

This was more than I could take. Start a lame campaign to stop people from cussing if you'd like, but Little Women is the worst book ever. At this point in my imagination, I walked to the front of the room holding a glass jar, sat it on a desk, put in a ten dollar bill, then told all those little fucking cocksuckers that I would see them on the fourth floor of hell.

Because getting through this post without a cuss word would have been exactly what McKay Hatch would have wanted.

I am going back to the real world now. I suspect if McKay Hatch stays in his he may grow up to be president of APhA.

Fucking puss.
Share on :
It Would Be Too Easy For Me To Write A Post About How Much I Want To Punch This Kid.
It Would Be Too Easy For Me To Write A Post About How Much I Want To Punch This Kid.
Reviewed by malaria
Published :
Rating : 4.5