I Fear My Side Of The Story May Not Be Getting Told. A Guest Post By Your Laser Printer.

First off, let me just say I understand the pressure a modern pharmacy is under. To compete in today's prescription drug market one has to be ruthlessly efficient, focused as much as possible on meeting the needs of the customer and providing them with a satisfying health-care experience, while at the same time eliminating non-productive activity and redundancy.

I know you don't believe this right now, but I am here to help.

Do you realize I can print prescription labels almost 10 times as fast as the dot-matrix model which you had the good sense to replace with me? And not only that, my labels are crystal clear, and far easier on the eye, giving your establishment an aura of added professionalism. There is, no doubt, a reason why those old models can be had these days for less than the cost of dinner at Denny's.

Excuse me, but there seems to be something jammed just above my duplex. Would you mind opening me up and clearing that out? I'm afraid I will be unable to work until you do. Thank you very much.

Now, where was I? Oh yes. I'm sure you'll agree the additional speed and clarity.....

Oh dear, I'm sorry, but evidently there was an additional paper jam behind the toner cartridge. How embarrassing. If you could just open me back up we'll be back at work in no time.

ALT ERROR 846: unknown transfer origin.

How odd. Neither me nor anyone at my manufacturer's help desk seem to have any idea what that could mean. Perhaps you could look in my owners manual if I came with one. How about we just hit the "clear" button and pretend that never happened.

Now then. As you are well aware I'm sure, I also have the capability of doing far more than printing prescription labels. I also quickly and efficiently print a drug monograph for every prescription you fill, putting vital information into the hands of your customers and enabling the FDA to require a never ending expansion of the number of medguides to be supplied to your customers.  I hear one may be coming soon to warn of the risks of Clarinex, which is slightly more dangerous than water.

I understand your frustration sir, but just as soon as you replace my toner cartridge with a new one, my work will look as good as the day I was installed, making that type of language completely unnecessary. Be sure to box up the old cartridge and send it back though. They are expensive, and I would hate to see you lose your rather substantial recycling deposit.

I haven't even mentioned my ability to print out e-prescriptions and faxes, creating a giant pile of different sized papers you have the opportunity to sort through while quickly trying to put each customer's prescription information in the proper bag. I honestly don't know how you got by back in the day when items from different sources and of different priorities actually printed in separate, pre-sorted places.

ALT ERROR 846: unknown transfer origin.

I told you earlier sir, I do not know what that means. Perhaps it has something to do with the persistant black streak I have been putting down the center of the last 200 pages.

ALT ERROR 846: unknown transfer origin.

ALT ERROR 846: unknown transfer origin.

ALT ERROR 846: unknown transfer origin.

I understand you have a dozen customers waiting sir, but there really was no need to slam the paper tray back in me so hard. Let's think about all the time and money I save you the 80% of the time I am working.

Pardon me, do you smell something burning?

EXCUSE ME! Now kicking my sides is completely uncalled for! I'm afraid if you do not bring your temper under control I will have no choice but to repeatedly overload the circuit breaker that services your entire computer system. Trust me sir, neither one of us would want that.

Because that would stand in the way of progress.

Thank you for understanding.
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I Fear My Side Of The Story May Not Be Getting Told. A Guest Post By Your Laser Printer.
I Fear My Side Of The Story May Not Be Getting Told. A Guest Post By Your Laser Printer.
Reviewed by malaria
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Rating : 4.5