The Week Of The Bill Monning Pill Counting Action Chronicles Begins.

So I wasn't sure what to do with this guy. Last time he was in the store he told me all about how he was starting a company where he "would be hiring all sorts of pharmacists and techs" and offered me a job. That wasn't the problem, although I did just condense into one sentence what took him a good twenty minutes to say.

The time before that he told me how he was going off to Bermuda for a modeling job. The time before that how creepy it was to wake up in a mental hospital "full of the really crazy people" You have an idea of the problem now. He was a regular customer, and I had no idea how one would distinguish him from the really crazy people.

Except this time he was asking me about peanut allergies. He told me he was deathly allergic to peanuts and he had just eaten a peanut butter sandwich. He asked me what he should do.

"Well if you're as allergic as you say you are you're gonna have to go to the ER" I said. It was the correct answer. "Deathly allergic" he did say. And even though I knew damn well he wasn't, it was the answer to his question.

Holy shit the look on his face was priceless. And the way he sprinted out of the store. Who knew anaphalaxis was the key to a personal best time in the 100 meters.

Lesson to you dear customer. I am only as good as the questions I am asked.

About an hour later I hear, "So what is this medicine for?"

Sweet. If I am only as good as the questions I am asked, It was now time for me to shine baby.

"To treat high cholesterol" Fuck yeah. Mr. Pharmacist. Answering pharmacist questions. Hear me roar.

"Why would my doctor give me a medicine for high cholesterol?" My roaring stopped and I went right back into "what do I do with this guy?" mode. I didn't want to be a smart ass. Honest I didn't, but I am only as good as the questions I am asked.

"Because he thinks your cholesterol is too high"

My reward was a stone-faced death glare. Who knew elevated cholesterol was the key to total muscle and cerebral paralysis.

Headed into the homestretch of the workday now I was:

"Can I get a refill?"

"Sure, what's your name?"

"Oops, oh no"

Guy's Mom hated him I guess. Or named him after what was said after the condom broke.

"I have a question" Time to get it up again.

"It says here to take four times a day, but it would be more natural for me to take it three, so that's what I should do, right?"

They say everything is negotiable, including now, evidently, the half life of Penicillin.

But not my quitting time. That is never negotiable. I slammed the gate down after that one, woofed down a sub to keep from starving to death, and made a beeline home to commemorate this day with a tumbler of scotch.

And a peanut. This day definitely deserves to be remembered with a peanut.

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The Week Of The Bill Monning Pill Counting Action Chronicles Begins.
The Week Of The Bill Monning Pill Counting Action Chronicles Begins.
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