5 Tips That Will Get You Through The Swine Flu Crisis.

1) If your doctor shows any sign of having a snout or hooves, run, do not walk, but run out of the office as fast as you can. 

2) If travelling to Mexico, an awareness and respect for local culture and traditions can go a long way towards soothing the nerves of a population on edge. Try the traditional Mexican greeting of a quick kiss on the lips followed by the "hello cough" to the face of every stranger you see. 

3) I was just kidding about number 2. However, it is important to wipe down any imported Mexican marijuana or methamphetamine with hand sanitizer before use. 

4) Most pharmacies receive shipments of prescription medication several times an hour, making calling your local Walgreens every 15 minutes to ask if they have any Tamiflu a solid plan. 

5) An awareness of the latest real-time events in a situation as fluid as this one can be crucial. As of this morning, there have been 91 conformed cases of swine flu in this country, and one death. Realize there are 306,317,517 people in the United States as of 1PM Pacific time, think about those odds,  quit being such a ninny, and live your life. 


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5 Tips That Will Get You Through The Swine Flu Crisis.
5 Tips That Will Get You Through The Swine Flu Crisis.
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